Dealing with Back-to-School Jitters and Anxiety

23 May 2025

Ah, back-to-school season—the magical time when parents pretend to be excited while secretly dreading the chaos, and kids alternate between excitement and sheer terror. If you’ve got a child who’s experiencing the all-too-common back-to-school anxiety, congratulations! You’re officially living with a tiny, overthinking ball of stress.

But don’t worry. We’re about to break this down like a kindergarten craft project—messy, colorful, and (hopefully) somewhat helpful.

Why Do Kids Get Back-to-School Anxiety?

Because kids are basically tiny adults but with fewer coping skills and a slightly more dramatic flair. Starting a new school year is overwhelming! New teachers, new classmates, new schedules—it’s a lot to process.

Add in the pressure of fitting in, keeping up academically, and (heaven forbid) figuring out where to sit at lunch, and you’ve got a recipe for some serious nerves. Oh, and let’s not forget the ultimate horror: waking up early again.

Signs Your Kid Might Be Freaking Out (Even If They Pretend They’re Not)

Some kids will straight-up tell you, “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!” Others? They play it cool while secretly planning an escape route. Here are some signs your child might be stressing out:

- Sudden stomach aches or headaches (A classic! The "I don’t feel good" excuse never goes out of style.)
- Irritability, mood swings, or random emotional outbursts (Basically acting like a tiny, unpredictable tornado of emotions.)
- Sleep issues (Because what better way to start school exhausted?)
- Clinginess (Suddenly, your independent child is glued to your side like a toddler again.)
- Loss of appetite (Or a sudden increase in appetite because stress-snacking is universal.)

If any of this sounds familiar, congratulations—you’ve got a back-to-school worrier on your hands. But don’t panic (that’s your kid’s job). Let’s talk solutions.

How to Help Your Child Handle Back-to-School Anxiety Without Losing Your Mind

Because let’s be real—you don’t have time for a breakdown either.

1. Set Up a Routine BEFORE the First Day

No, you can’t just wake up on the first day of school and hope everything magically works out. Start a routine at least a week before school starts. Set wake-up times, meal schedules, and bedtime routines.

Think of it like a dress rehearsal—except the lead actor (your kid) is grumpy and totally unwilling to cooperate.

2. Talk About It (Yes, Even If They Roll Their Eyes)

Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s something you’re excited about this year?” or, “What’s one thing that makes you nervous?”

If your child hits you with a “Nothing,” congratulations—you’re dealing with a professional conversation dodger. Keep probing, but in a casual, non-interrogation way.

3. Validate Their Feelings (Even If They Seem Ridiculous)

Saying “There’s nothing to be scared of” is about as helpful as telling someone mid-panic attack to “just calm down.”

Instead, try:
- “I totally get why that makes you nervous.”
- “It makes sense that you feel this way.”
- “New things can be scary, but you’ve handled change before and rocked it.”

Basically, act like you’re their motivational speaker, but without the cheesy TED Talk energy.

4. Do a Trial Run

If possible, visit the school before the first day. Walk through the hallways, find their classroom, and locate the nearest bathroom (because bathroom location anxiety is a real thing, apparently).

Familiarity reduces fear. Plus, this way, they won’t look like a lost traveler wandering the halls like an aimless tourist.

5. Give Them Some Control

Anxiety loves uncertainty, so give your child some control where you can. Let them pick their backpack, school supplies, or even plan their first-day outfit (within reason—no, they cannot wear a dinosaur onesie to third grade).

If they feel like they have some say in the process, they’ll feel a tiny bit more in charge of their fate.

6. Teach Some Basic Relaxation Techniques (Without Calling Them That)

We all know kids don’t want to hear about “deep breathing exercises” and “mindfulness.” But here’s the trick: disguise relaxation techniques as a game.

- "Blow up the balloon" – Have them take a deep breath and pretend to blow up an invisible balloon.
- "Squeeze the lemon" – Tell them to pretend they’re squeezing an imaginary lemon in both hands (great for tension release).
- "Melting ice cube" – Have them tense their muscles like an ice cube and then slowly "melt" into relaxation.

Boom, relaxation disguised as play. You’re welcome.

7. The Power of Distraction

Sometimes, the best way to combat anxiety is to keep their little minds busy. The night before school? Have a fun family game night. The morning of? Blast their favorite music while getting ready.

The goal is to get their brain so occupied that it forgets to be anxious—like when you walk into a room and completely forget why you went in there.

8. Be Cool (Even If You’re Internally Screaming)

Your kid is watching you like a hawk. If you seem stressed about school, they’ll assume it’s worth stressing over.

So even if you’re panicking inside (because, let’s be honest, back-to-school season is as hectic for parents as it is for kids), put on your best Oscar-worthy performance. You got this.

What If They Still Have a Meltdown?

Ah yes, the dreaded first-day freakout. If your child is in full panic mode—clinging, crying, or dramatically declaring their refusal to go—you’ve got two options:

1. Stay calm and reassuring. Give hugs, remind them they’ll be okay, and avoid making school seem like a punishment.
2. Exit strategy. If all else fails, hand them off to a very understanding teacher and make a swift yet dignified exit (no looking back, no second-guessing).

Chances are, five minutes after you leave, they’ll be totally fine and having a blast. Because kids are like that.

The First Week Will Be Weird, But That’s Normal

Expect some exhaustion, some crankiness, and maybe even a bit of “I hate school” declarations. Just like adults hate Mondays, kids hate transitions.

Set up after-school traditions, like a favorite snack or a quick “tell me one good thing about today.” It doesn’t have to be a grand celebration—just a little something to ease the transition.

By the second or third week, they’ll have adjusted. And just when they finally settle in—bam! It’ll be time for winter break.

Final Thoughts: You’ll Survive This (And So Will They)

Back-to-school anxiety is rough, but it’s temporary. Your kid will adjust. Someday, they might even gasp enjoy it. Until then, just breathe, stay patient, and remember—coffee is your best friend.

And if all else fails? Bribe them with a cool lunchbox. (Hey, desperate times, desperate measures.