Four Phrases Parents Should Avoid According to a Child Psychologist

October 19, 2025 - 07:06

Licensed psychologist Sarah Lebovitz Suria emphasizes the importance of communication in parenting and highlights four common phrases that can be detrimental to a child's emotional well-being. These phrases, often spoken out of frustration or habit, can make children feel dismissed or misunderstood.

One such phrase is "Stop crying," which can invalidate a child's feelings. Instead, Suria suggests acknowledging their emotions by saying, "It's okay to be sad; I'm here for you." Another common phrase is "You should know better," which can lead to feelings of shame. A more constructive approach would be, "Let’s talk about what happened and how we can do better next time."

Suria also warns against saying, "You’re just like your father/mother," as it can create unnecessary tension and comparisons. Instead, parents can focus on individual strengths by saying, "You have your own unique qualities that I love." Lastly, "Why can’t you be more like your sibling?" can foster rivalry and insecurity. A better alternative is to celebrate each child's unique achievements.

By being mindful of language, parents can foster a more supportive and understanding environment for their children.