I’m an autism parent — and this NJ tragedy is my worst nightmare

May 15, 2026 - 08:24

A recent tragedy in New Jersey has sent shockwaves through the autism community, stirring a familiar but profound dread in parents like me. A young man with autism, who had wandered away from his home, was later found deceased. For any parent raising a child on the spectrum, this is not just a news story. It is a waking nightmare we live with every single day.

The constant vigilance required to keep a child safe is exhausting. Many autistic children are drawn to water, have no sense of danger, and can bolt in a split second. You can install all the locks, alarms, and fences in the world, but they are not foolproof. There is always that moment of silence, that second when you look away to answer the phone or grab a towel, and your heart stops. You run through the house, your voice rising in panic, praying they are just hiding in a closet.

This tragedy is a raw reminder that our society is not built for our children. We are often judged for their meltdowns in public, for their inability to communicate, or for the "strange" behaviors that keep them safe. But the real judgment should be on a system that offers so little support. We need better safety nets, more community awareness, and a genuine understanding that elopement is not misbehavior; it is a life-threatening symptom. Until then, every parent of an autistic child will continue to hold their breath, knowing that the worst-case scenario is always, always just one unlocked door away.