I’m a psychologist – my three rules for tougher parenting to create resilient kids

June 14, 2026 - 15:50

A psychologist argues that the pandemic, the rise of smartphones, and the rapid integration of AI have all contributed to a generation of children who are increasingly risk-averse. But the biggest factor, she says, is often the parents themselves. In an effort to shield their kids from discomfort, many moms and dads have inadvertently stunted their ability to handle life's inevitable challenges. The solution, according to the expert, is a return to "tougher parenting" built on three core rules.

First, parents must stop solving every problem for their children. When a child forgets their homework, the parent should not rush to deliver it. When a teenager has a conflict with a friend, the parent should not immediately call the other parent. Allowing kids to face the natural consequences of their actions builds problem-solving skills and accountability.

Second, parents need to embrace boredom. Constant schedules, screen time, and structured activities leave no room for a child to feel bored. Yet boredom is the birthplace of creativity, self-reliance, and internal motivation. A child who is never bored never learns how to entertain themselves or sit with their own thoughts.

Finally, parents must let their children fail. This is the hardest rule. Watching a child struggle with a difficult test, a lost game, or a rejected social invitation is painful. But failure teaches resilience. It teaches that a setback is not the end of the world. By stepping in to prevent every scrape or disappointment, parents rob their children of the chance to learn that they are strong enough to recover. The goal is not to raise happy children in every moment, but to raise capable adults who can navigate a complex world.